Shake Your Booty for Buddha

The flickering flames of a thousand dreams floated further as a dozen balloons speckled the sky with red infinity.  The kathoey (ladyboys) had long ago thrust their way off the stage they shared with the dance-crazed school kids, the “sea gypsies” had come out of their isolated villages and the whole island was running amuck on moon-lit Pattaya beach.  As I sat cross-legged in the sand on the small island of Ko Lipe with two Thai massage girls (one of which was born a boy), I was reminded that this was Loi Krathong, a Buddhist holiday – a religious holiday unlike any other I’d ever celebrated.

Every November on the night of the proper full moon, this Buddhist holiday is celebrated in honor of the water goddess to thank her for the gift of life.  Reading about Loi Krathong before arriving in Thailand, I eagerly awaited witnessing the country’s “most beautiful religious holiday.”  Though, I did not expect to participate.  Five girls from the open-air massage parlor by my beachfront bungalow changed that.

To get to Ko Lipe, I caught an overnight train from Kuala Lumpur to the Thai border and switched platforms the next morning for the last 55 kilometers to the provincial capital of Hat Yai.  More like an extension of Malaysia, southern Thailand’s Muslim majority has been at odds with the government for decades.  Frequent protests and occasional violent acts don’t make this the safest region to travel.  Yet, it was in Hat Yai that I would catch my bus to the famed Andaman Coast.

Hat Yai was a sprawling trash heap of urban decay.  Greeted at the train station by armed guards with AK47s, hawkers soon swarmed in and spun me around in circles, simultaneously pointing in different directions when asked a question.  Half built/half abandoned buildings teeming with carnivorous street dogs filled me with a nervous sadness, playing on my Western insecurities.

I was relieved to spend the night two hours west at Pak Bara, a modest beach town popular with Thai holidaymakers.  Watching the sun set along the amusement-lined beach I was put to ease.  My eyes fixed on a mobile cotton-candy vendor as his happy silhouette wobbled along the horizon from pink to tangerine.  As the sun popped into the sky the next morning, I wizzed away from the mainland and into the islands of Ko Tarutao National Park.

En route to Ko Lipe, I spent two nights on the mountainous jungle island of Ko Tarutao.  Formerly home to one of Thailand’s most notorious prisons, the convicts (along with their guards) had infamously abandoned the place to become the pirates of the Straits of Melaka.  Now, it’s the kind of untamed wilderness where they film Survivor (2002).  Daredevil monkeys vastly outnumber humans as they leap from the treetops above and power is only available from sunset to sunrise.  More an island for exploration than lazing, it was easy to spend hours along on a wild beach gazing at the hornbills flying above… Now, I was gazing at the gem blue sea of Ko Lipe and the beachfront massage girls with whom I’d maintained an ongoing nonverbal dialogue.

By nonverbal dialogue, I mean to say that for no apparent reason they had been laughing at me for days.  The simple act of reading a book on my porch would bring about a fresh round of giggles and while we shared congenial smiles, we never spoke.  On the third day, they had abandoned the massage area and gathered in front of my porch by a low table under the shade of a palm tree sorting piles of leaves and flowers.  Curious what they were creating, I moseyed over and broke the silence.

They giggled, “Loi Krathong… Making for tonight!”  The girls gestured for me to join them so I sat on my knees in the sand as the older girl grabbed a small machete, chopped off a section of banana tree, and handed it to me.   All five of them were in varying stages of constructing small, lotus-shaped baskets, covering the round trunk in an origami of folded banana leaf.  My loose interpretation of their perfectly geometric folds amused them.  I was doing it all wrong.  After adorning my basket with flowers, incense, and a candle, they left it floating in water to prepare it for the evening’s celebration. The lopsided, raggedy basket I’d produced was later passed amongst the local community, evoking repeated laughter.  All afternoon, their fingers pointed in my direction and I returned a defeated smile.

The population center of Ko Tarutao National Park, Ko Lipe is a small A-shaped island in the far south of Thailand’s Andaman Coast.  Traditional longboats spurt across the pier-less bays ushering in new entrants above cities of coral.  Making a notable impression on the tourist trail, Ko Lipe is on the verge of “being discovered.”  Its three coral-rimmed beaches are blooming into a smaller version of overdeveloped Ko Lanta and Ko Phi Phi.  Escaping park protection due to its indigenous “sea gypsy” community, Ko Lipe’s narrow dirt roads are abuzz with construction.  A hippy, in-the-know traveler vibe abounds in the sea-drift-decorated bars and bungalows and Thai rastas run the show.

The entire island (save a few hardworking resort workers and five friendly massage ladies) was at the elementary school for the Loi Krathong celebration.  As I arrived, a group of schoolgirls were having a dance-off on the balloon-rimmed stage.  What ensued can be summed up in two words: Buddha and Booty.  From my squat under a table of prize-winning banana baskets, I watched as kids of all ages took to the stage to shake their booties for Buddha.  The wildest, most raunchy booty shakers were crowned the winners.  They’d prance out on their victory walk, slap their butt, and then clasp their hands in prayer, bowing to the audience.  When the contest was over, the Ladyboys (Thailand’s third sex), took over for a predictably bawdy routine.  The audience (and I) was in tears with laughter.  In Thailand, this is family entertainment and this is religious observance.

As the show ended, we raced to the beach to light our candles, burn our incense, and set our boats to the sea.  Noticing that my creation was an unkempt heap of leaf scraps, a Thai from Bangkok placed half of his wildflowers onto my basket in a decorative disguise.  His grandmother made the elaborate, tiered basket he carried and he had some flare to spare.  Upgraded and ready for its journey, I set the basket in the sea and watched as it joined the masses.  Each basket departed carrying a bit of its owner (some fingernails or strands of hair) as well as a thousand thanks to the water goddess for the gift of life.

When I arrived back at my bungalow on Pattaya Beach, the massage girls were just getting off of work.  They had changed from their drab rags into sparking dresses and were waiting for me to send their baskets afloat.  They drank double-sized Chang Beer, flirted, and apologized for their broken English.  I knew they were not attracted to me but the idea of something I represented so I turned the attention back to the afternoon’s creations.  They walked knee deep into the green glow of the moonlit sea and set their sparkling baskets adrift to form a twinkling trail of light in the rippled water.

So often in resort towns we see the workers but not the people.  On Ko Lipe, it was nice to see the workers as people doing both familiar and unfamiliar people things.  When I woke up the next morning, the “sea gypsies” spurt across the water in their longtail boats, the Thai rastas were serving coffees to their Western guests, and the five giggling massage girls were back in their rags by the beach.  The friend and fellow merrymaker became the worker again.  Yet, for one night, we all gathered together to create, wish, offer, and dance in the universal spotlight of the pock-faced moon.  We gathered together to shake our booties for Buddha.


3 thoughts on “Shake Your Booty for Buddha

  1. Mark, how I envy your exotic adventures, even though I know it’s not polite to envy. To have the guts to venture where few speak your language and you don’t speak theirs is something I never have done. How exciting it must be to to experience another culture so closely. I look forward to living these experiences vicariously. Keep writing!!!

  2. Loved this one because, as you know, I have long desired to visit Thailand and it was interesting to hear about one of the islands that I had not really heard of. Also, the photo of the basket and candle with the faces not quite in focus is probably my most favorite photo thus far that you’ve taken. YAY for otterwolves!

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